


Statera

by PropertyOfThaJoker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Force Bond, Love, Romance, these kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:35:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9095614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PropertyOfThaJoker/pseuds/PropertyOfThaJoker
Summary: His embrace was possessive, but not as if she was a possession – no, this wasn’t the same as when Plutt’s meaty hand wrapped around her wrist to drag her back to work. This was something entirely different. She swallowed, closing her eyes. Despite the fact that she knew this was a dream, as all of their encounters but their first had been, she felt nervous around him. She had yet to decipher whether that was fear or excitement; maybe it was both.-----As Luke Skywalker's apprentice, she trains daily, but is bored by his teachings. When she closes her eyes, she talks with the man that should be her greatest enemy.





	1. Siren

“You never wear your helmet around me.” Rey waited for him as he approached her. They stood in a space that had no apparent walls or sky, or floor for that matter. It was black as night yet she could see him as clear as day. This happened at night from time to time, as she slept.  
  
“I don’t want anything to obstruct my vision when it comes to you.” Did he think she was going to try and kill him in their shared dream space? That wasn’t possible, or she didn’t think it was possible. “Is everything the same as it was the last time we were here? Is the old man still having you play with wooden swords?” He looked her over, always in a long, simple white dress in their dreams. It must have been something she’d created in her mind, because he was sure that she never had had anything like that in her life, but one day he would give her things like that. Decorate her in all the finest fabrics and jewels that the galaxy offered. He would see to it that she would have everything her heart desired, all he asked in return is that she love him as he already loved her.  
  
“I’m learning,” she said, as she had told him many times before. “It’s not smart to learn on a saber at the beginning.” Kylo nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest, smirking at her words that he knew that had, verbatim, come from Skywalker’s lips.  
  
“Yet you defeated me the first time that you even ignited a blade. Granted, I was wounded, but surely I should have been able to defeat you: a nineteen year old who didn’t even acknowledge that she had such powers until two hours prior to her besting me.” Kylo approached her and took her into his arms, now used to her lack of protest, but still thrilled that she let him hold her like a man was supposed to hold a woman. “So lonely,” he whispered in her ear, his breath a ghost on her skin, lingering, waiting. “Come to me.”

His embrace was possessive, but not as if she was a possession – no, this wasn’t the same as when Plutt’s meaty hand wrapped around her wrist to drag her back to work. This was something entirely different. She swallowed, closing her eyes. Despite the fact that she knew this was a dream, as all of their encounters but their first had been, she felt nervous around him. She had yet to decipher whether that was fear or excitement; maybe it was both. “You want to corrupt me.”  
  
“Oh, you have no idea,” Kylo replied, knowing that there was no way that Rey understood what he was connoting. “You’d make such a worthy apprentice, Rey. Skywalker doesn’t deserve you.” Rey pulled away just enough to see his face, their noses almost touching. “You must know that. What has he taught you during these last few months, hm? How to sit with your legs crossed and close your eyes in meditation? How to lift rocks?” She looked away, not willing to admit that he’d been correct. “You, my desert flower, were meant to be a warrior, not a weak thing. No, you appear to be so delicate, but I know better, have seen better from you. You’re as resilient as they come, just like a blossom that comes from the sand. You can withstand everything but death, which will surely come to you should you not join me. I can give you better, Rey.”  
  
She was beginning to have that feeling that she often did when he spoke to her like that, held her to him. She felt clammy, wet, but almost as if she needed more. She was in thirst of something she didn’t know of. _How infuriating._ “I doubt that you could give me anything.”  
  
“Don’t lie to yourself,” he answered with force, backing away from her, “you’re too intelligent for that.” Kylo touched her face, allowing his thumb and index finger to linger on her cheek. “I see your thoughts, you see mine. I hear your cries and I respond. I’m the comfort you seek. The water to quench your thirst.”  
  
His suggestion answered her question about her own self. Was he the solution? “I don’t know what I want,” she admitted. “I’m bored, but I don’t want to be dark, or whatever it is you are.” She noticed that he was still touching her face with his gloved hand. “But I know that I don’t want to kill people.”  
  
“I only kill because I have to, but I could never, ever strike you down, Rey, even if the Supreme Leader commanded it. You are the only thing I cannot hurt.” Kylo pushed her wavy hair behind her ear. “That doesn’t mean that there aren’t others ready to do the task.” Rey said nothing as he leaned closer toward her. “Rey, I can give you so many answers. I know your family. They’re dead, but I know who they were. Does that not appeal to you?” He caught the soft tears that began to roll down her cheeks.  
  
“I’ve felt that they were dead for a long time, I just didn’t know that what I was feeling was actually real.” He pulled her to him once more, attempting to comfort her as he rested his head atop hers. He smelled her hair; she smelled of sunshine and sea salt. “I’m no one.”  
  
“Even if that were true, you would always be someone to me,” Kylo replied, his hands smoothing down her back without going too far. _Tempt her_ , he thought. “I’ll be the Emperor of the entire galaxy one day; you do know that, don’t you? If I trained you, I wouldn’t keep you on a star destroyer. You would hate it there, and in turn, you would hate me; I think you could actually come to enjoy my company, Rey.”  
  
Rey snickered against his chest. “Are you saying that I don’t hate you now?”  
  
“Jedi don’t hate,” he answered, “but you’re no Jedi, at least not yet.” He imagined her in a beautiful ethereal lavender dress, a ring on her finger with a glowing Corusca stone in the center. “You don’t hate me. I can feel it.”  
  
“I wish that I did.” He smirked once more at her answer. “It would make things so much easier.”  
  
“And it is I that should hate you,” Kylo replied with a hint of amusement in his voice. “You gifted me with a few scars, large ones, might I add.” He moved his hands down her arms slowly, gliding down until he caught her hands in his own. “But I can’t.”  
  
“Are you that vain?” she asked, confused at how she was at ease with him holding her hands. “I think the one on your face suits you.” They both chuckled as they pulled away but not apart, to look at each other.  
  
“Please come to me, or tell me to come get you. I know where you are, you must know that I have known for a while. I’ll make it very, _very_ worth it,” Kylo pleaded, trying so diligently not to sound desperate, but knowing that he did. “I won’t kill Skywalker. I’ll say I couldn’t find him, I’ll-”  
  
“No.” Her answer was short, curt, staccato. “I am being trained by the master that I should be, and besides, I don’t want to be like you.”  
  
_That’s why I need you_ , he thought, pushing it far enough back into his mind so she couldn’t hear. _That’s why I want you. You’re the light that’s been calling to me; you’re the siren. You’re the one I’ve envisioned, the one my grandfather spoke of, the last of the man I was named for…_

“Who said you had to be dark? I offered to train you in the Force. The Force is both light and dark. It’s childish to think that there are only two ways of handling such a complex gift, such a complex skill; the very thing that holds the galaxy together.” Kylo kissed her cheek and then dropped to his knees. “Rey, I’ll do anything to be your master.” She felt her heart begin to flutter, watching him kneel before her, imploring her to join him. “You know I’m not a monster.”  
  
“Kylo, I can’t. Please don’t ask again.”

* * *

Rey jolted up in her cot, sweating, and began to cry softly, still able to feel his hands as they had held hers. Her cries became louder as she realized she desired to feel that again, and she turned to cry into her pillow, hoping not to get Luke’s attention.  
  
“Rey, are you alright?” _Too late._  
  
She turned onto her back and sat up, scared to look at him in the eyes. “I had an unsettling dream. That’s all.” She wiped her face and stood from the bed, going over to her jug of water and splashing her face. “I’ll be fine.”  
  
Luke took a deep breath and shook his head. “It’s _him_ , isn’t it?”  
  
Slowly, Rey turned around to face him, her eyes even more sad than they were before. “How- how did you know?” She sat back on her bed, her head in her hands.  
  
He sat down next to her on the bed, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I can sense him, but not in the same way that I could sense you landing on the planet. I can sense his presence in a way I’ve never felt before. It's as if his Force is with you.” Rey frowned and nodded, telling him that she knew.   
  
“He says it’s a Force Bond,” Rey offered as she sniffled. “He says that the Force has been calling me to him, him to me for years, that he’s to be my master, not you.” Luke shook his head as if he knew what this was. “He says your father told him of a girl on Jakku, but that was all he had to go off of.”  
  
“So when he found out where you were from, who you were…” Luke trailed off, almost upset, yet thrilled at what he was about to tell her. No doubt Vader, as Anakin’s ghost form was sometimes, told him just who the girl on Jakku was. “Rey, I think it’s time we had a talk.”  
  
“I’m not going to him! I’m not! He can try all he wants but-“ Luke stopped her with a single nod of his head.  
  
“That’s not what I mean.” He took another deep breath as he tried to think of how to tell her about the news she had been in search of for most of her life. “I think you’re ready to know where, or rather _who_ you come from.” 

* * *

“You didn’t tell me! You _knew_ , but you kept that from me? Were you saving it as some sort of reward if I did well or was it bait to bring me to your side?!” Rey was angry as she gripped his forearms, her skin becoming pink with rage. 

“It was never the right time!” He knew that his words were useless to her at this point. “I wanted to tell you but you wouldn’t believe me if I told you that you were the granddaughter of a great Jedi Knight and the ruler of a planet. You’d tell me that idea was ridiculous, and I was trying to fill you with delusional dreams that would never see reality! You know that you would have never believed me!” Rey huffed loudly as she let go of him, taking a few steps backward as she turned around, facing away from him.  
  
“Your grandfather spoke to you and told you that his Jedi Master was the grandfather of the girl that the Force had bonded to you? How could you not tell me that! You won’t even explain what this bond is, Ren! I want – no, I _need_ to know, and I need to know _right now_!” Rey turned around to face him once more, knowing that she must look pathetic as she stood before him, something that she never wanted to appear as to him; she wanted him to know that she was just as strong as he was. “Tell me now, Kylo.” She balled up her fists, gritting her teeth. “Tell me!”  
  
He walked toward her and enveloped her in his arms, tight, as if he never planned on releasing her, surprised that she didn’t budge. “It means that we share everything. Every time you felt the call to leave that fucking planet, that was me begging you to find me, or to let me know where you were.” It came out so fast that Kylo wondered if he wondered if he had actually ever spoken. “It means that your inability to hate me is just as much out of the connection we have through the bond as it is a choice. It means that no one will ever understand you better than me, and I you.” He heard her sob, felt her tears through his thin shirt and held her tighter. “It means that I cannot survive without you in my life, and you can’t survive without me!” He let go of her as he backed away and stared at her, suddenly angry himself.

She looked away from him and sat down, curling her arms around her knees. “Is that…” she stopped with a sob, “Oh, please, no!”  
  
Kylo was offended at her rejection of what they shared, yet he almost understood her sorrow. He understood that while the Force had never been something mysterious to him, it was so new to her. She didn’t understand how it spoke. “It means that I loved you before I ever saw your face, before I ever heard your voice. It means that I’m not whole without you, and that you aren’t whole without me!” He chuckled out of anger as he perched next to her. “Every time I hold you, whisper in your ear, put my hands on your back or hold your hands… I feel how much you want me. You’re so inept when it comes to human interaction that you don’t even know what words to use to phrase it, to describe it. And I want you just as bad and it burns to have to so close but yet so far that I can’t be with you!” She unhooked her arms from her knees, looking up at him, the tension building. “You’re supposed to be my everything! You’re mine, I’m yours; that’s unfortunate for you, as you seem so bothered by this information, but that’s how this works.”  
  
“You’re sick!” she yelled as she stood from where she sat, Kylo jumping up from his position a second later. “There’s no way-”  
  
“Ask your _master_ what it means, and he’ll tell you the same thing that I am, but with much more flowery words!” He took her head in his hands. “I’m just being honest. Search my mind and tell me that I’m lying. Do it. I’m not stopping you.” Kylo let her break away from him as she tugged her head away with the strength of her neck.  
  
“I’m the one thing you cannot hurt.” It made so much sense now, his words from the night before: _I’m the comfort you seek. The water to quench your thirst,_ and she was to be his comfort, the drink that would make sure he never thirsted again. _Don’t be afraid, I feel it, too._  
“When you told me to not be afraid, that you felt… that you felt whatever it was that was in that room, that you felt it, too. That was the bond, wasn’t it?” She watched as he nodded. He didn’t look so irate anymore.  
  
“You have no idea what it felt like, after two years of hearing your heartbeat and calling out for you; you have no idea how it felt when I realized that it was you, standing right in front of me, pointing _Han Solo’s_ blaster right at me.” _It is you,_ he thought to himself, the words he had spoken when his grandfather’s saber landed in her hand when she called for it. It had been then that he was absolutely positive that Rey was the granddaughter of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Duchess Satine of Mandalore, daughter of Sabine Wren, father unknown. “You’re just as much of a royal as I am, Rey. You come from just as much greatness as I do. Our families have been tied together for nearly eighty years. It’s destiny. The Force has brought us together to finally complete what those before us could only give the galaxy temporarily.”  
  
“And what might that be?” she asked, her irritation growing stronger. The look on Kylo’s face was once of sorrow, as if he had instantly lost all hope of her ever accepting this as fate.  
  
“To bring balance to the Force.”


	2. Capable

Her enemy, it seemed, was her soul’s mirror image. His grandfather was trained as a Jedi by hers, and both of their grandmothers were the rulers of their respective home worlds. Both of their mothers were royals, one by blood and one by her adoptive parents.  
Her enemy was the only man she could ever truly and purely love, all thanks to what the Force had willed. Her lightness and his dark were bound to kill the evils that stood in the way of the Force being realized as one but many things.  
  
“What he told you is true,” Luke said as they sat on the stairs, looking out over the water, “you’ll never be happy with anyone else.”  
  
“But if I’m to be a Jedi-” He stopped her, shaking his head.  
  
“Those rules are what got us into this trouble in the first place, or at least part of it.” Closing his eyes, he remembered a time when it was different for him. “I was in love once – it wasn’t a Force bond like you have with my nephew, but she was also a Force user. I trained her in what I knew of the Force. We met shortly after the Battle of Endor.” Luke explained that she had been locked away in the Emperor’s palace along with many other Force-sensitive women. The Emperor had never gotten to her, and she had been lucky in that. “Her name was Mara. She was brave.”  
  
“Was she with the Jedi Academy that Kylo destroyed?” Rey asked. “I’m- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have questioned.”  
  
Luke chuckled, seemingly reminiscing about his lost love. “No, she wasn’t there. She had been gone for a while at that point. Ben was five when she died, and she sure loved Ben.” Mara had died in a battle against a lingering Empire faction that would eventually rise to power again, becoming the First Order. “I speak to her sometimes. When you’re better trained, you’ll be able speak to those with the Force, trained in it that have left us, too.” 

“I’m sorry, Master.” Rey wondered if something were to ever happen to Kylo, would she be able to feel it? Would it kill her, too? Somehow, she decided that she’d rather die than have to endure his pain. “Why don’t the Jedi rules work?”  
  
Luke stood, motioning for her to follow. “Come, I have a book I would like you to read.”

* * *

It turned out to be an old text, dating back thousands of years. _The Jedi Code_ , it was called, and it went into finite detail about each line of the creed. While it said nothing of Force bonds, it talked about why the Jedi shouldn’t form attachments. “Master, this part goes against everything you have taught me.”  
  
“Exactly. As Jedi, we’re supposed to show compassion, to care about everyone else before ourselves. That is attachment. It’s human nature to create attachments, Rey, and a bond is just that, no matter what kind. Before your time or mine, the padawans were plucked from their families before they turned even two years old, some as early as birth, to begin training – how silly, considering that you can’t train a child who cannot walk. It was supposed to be an honor that your child had the gift, but the child you had spent so long caring for, before it was born even, was ripped from you. How can that be a gift?” Luke took back the book and placed it on the shelf. “Attachment, while it comes in many forms, eventually, it is all the same. So while there is obviously no romantic love between a mother and child, one can hope that it was romantic love that brought the child to life.”  
  
“What are you saying, Master?” Rey asked, as she looked up at him.  
  
“I’m saying that if the Jedi expected the Order to have compassion, they were stupid to think that it wouldn’t come with other consequences. How would you expect for Ben to have been in your mind every day and not become attached to you beyond what the bond provides, especially when he can’t leave your mind, and you can’t leave his? Do you even try to look into his thoughts?” Rey hadn’t told him about what Kylo had said, that they were to bring balance to the Force. Knowing that Luke’s own father had died because of it, she didn’t feel as if she could ever tell him that. “There’s no doubt that he must know where we are.”  
  
Rey nodded, gulping. “He does. He doesn’t want to hurt me, so he hasn’t told Snoke.”  
  
“And I’m sure as trained as Ben is, he’s much better at blocking your presence than you are at blocking his, but that will come to you in time.” Luke pointed out the doorway and to the setting sun. “Every time I see the sun setting, I remember that tomorrow is another day.”  
  
Rey didn’t know what he meant by that, but she was sure that it’s meaning was deeper that the words.

* * *

That night, Rey pushed further, on into his dream, refusing to meet in the blank space in the middle. She’d meet him in _his_ dreams tonight, refusing to let him get to her headfirst. Why hadn’t he done that already?  
  
She saw Kylo standing above her on a rock, and she walked toward him, quietly. The land looked foggy, almost like Ahch-To, but even more green. And she didn’t see any rocks. “This is Makeb,” he said, sensing her presence behind him, “this is where all the rarest stones come from. During the Galactic Civil War, the Hutts ruled this planet with their minions.” Rey now stood next to him, looking over the water. They were on a tall mountain peak – it was the most beautiful view Rey had ever seen, not that she had seen many.  
  
“Who were the Hutts?” she asked. Kylo chuckled and shook his head.  
  
“Disgusting creatures. I’ll tell you more later; what I want to know is why you are here.” Rey shrugged as she looked at his face.  
  
“I decided to push further, to see what you see. Please, come visit some evening,” she said sarcastically as she walked toward a beautiful tree, filled with pink flowers. “Why were you dreaming about this place?”  
  
“I find it to be particularly beautiful. But this place,” he spoke, and suddenly everything changed, and Rey was standing somewhere completely different, but in the same position, “I like this place better.” He watched in delight as her expression changed from one of happiness to one of amazement.

Looking out over the huge forest, how far it continued, Rey couldn’t help but agree. “It’s beautiful.”  
  
“Indeed. This is Wayland. Outer-Rim. It’s populated, but only on one half. The people here don’t have the money to leave or explore further, and it’s on the Outer-Rim. No one moves here.” Rey smiled at his knowledge.  
  
“Doesn’t look too bad to me, but what would I know?” Kylo walked toward her, a smirk on his face. “I bet you’ve been to so many planets.” He nodded, as he stood behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. He took the opportunity to look at her hair from behind, something he was not often granted. Her hair had must have become too long to put in the buns that she used to wear, or she liked having it down in her dreams. “Is Coruscant still as populated as Luke acts like it was? And Naboo! Isn’t that where your mother’s birth mother was from?”  
  
“I’d show them to you one day,” he said softly, getting bold and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. “I’d take you anywhere your heart desired. There are more planets in the galaxy than are possible to count. If you told me to find you an unpopulated planet with breathable air, so beautiful that it might rival the stars themselves, I would search until I found one just as you had said.” Rey placed her hands on his own, noticing how large they were compared to hers. “Have you forgiven me?”  
  
Rey nodded, smiling gently, even though he couldn’t see her face. “I know you were trying to protect me, that you thought I would handle it better coming from Luke than from you, and you were right.” Kylo mentally breathed a sigh of relief. “I think I’d like to go there one day, to Mandalore.” Would she find out anything about her mother there?  
  
“I’ll take you, although, they are not a peaceful people, Rey. They love war more than anything, or at least most of them do. And you’re only one-fourth Mandalorian.” He imagined taking Rey on many trips, showing her things she had never seen before. Everything changed again, and they were standing on a shore, looking out as the waves rolled in. “This is Rishi, also on the Outer Rim. Have you seen that I have a preference?”  
  
“This is amazing,” she said as she turned in his embrace, looking behind him at the lush jungle forest. “Unbelievable.” Rey broke away from him and walked toward the water’s edge, kneeling and letting her dress get wet, something she didn’t know that she would be able to feel in a dream. “The water is so warm.”  
  
“We’re close to the equator, so it’s never cold,” Kylo explained as he approached her. “You like it here?”  
  
“Oh, yes!” Rey answered as she closed her eyes and tilted her head toward the sun. “This is paradise.” He sat next to her, taking her hand in his. She hummed in delight as his thumb skimmed the top of her hand, and ever so slowly, she looked up toward him. “Thank you.”  
  
“For showing you this? This has been as easy as thinking of a picture, Rey, and you don’t have to thank me.” He took her hand and kissed it, not for one moment regretting it, even if he did get sand on his lips. “Did you tell Skywalker about our little chat last night?”  
  
Rey’s demeanor changed, becoming more serious. “No. I can’t tell him what you told me.” _That you love me_ , _that we’re supposed to bring balance to the Force,_ she thought. “I do suspect that he knows something, though. He knows about how the bonds work. He said he could feel you on me.” Kylo nodded, still holding her hand.  
  
“I’m serious, Rey, and I know that you must know that I’m telling the truth.” With his head still twisted toward her, she looked toward him, as if she was searching for something. “What is it?”  
  
“You would show me all of these incredible places, and you’re promising to take me to them should I wish,” she supplied as she gripped his hand a little tighter. “No one has ever done anything like that for me before, you know.” Kylo looked at her with so much affection that Rey thought her heart might burst into a thousand pieces at the softness of his stare.  
  
“I want to. All you have to do is come to me, or command me to retrieve you and I’ll do it.” He saw what he had expected at his words: her shaking her head ‘no’. “I ache without you, Rey. It hurts.”  
  
“It hurts me, too,” she said as she stood up, dragging him with her, “because I shouldn’t have feelings like this for my enemy. And you want to train me. That’s so appealing but it feels wrong.” Did he just hear what he thought he heard?  
  
“Appealing?” he asked, watching as a blush bloomed onto her cheeks. He would do whatever it took to watch her blush like that for the rest of his life. “Do tell.”  
  
Rey giggled and turned around, letting go of his hand. “How could I focus on training if I have to look at you the entire time. You are very distracting.” He smiled to himself with the knowledge that she found him attractive.  
  
He approached her from behind, hands skimming down her arms. “I could be your teacher in more ways than one,” he whispered, pushing her hair to cascade over one shoulder, giving him better access to her neck. “You know what I want.” He kissed her neck for the first time, but ever so gently. He was dealing with such a novice. “I want your mind, body, heart, soul. Do that and I’ll give you everything you desire.”  
  
Her sigh of pleasure sent chills down his spine. “I’m training already, Kylo.”  
  
“We seriously need to work on your understanding of my words,” he insisted as he pecked her neck again, before going to whisper in her ear. “When I tell you that I want to watch you blush from head to toe, I mean that. I want to do things to your body, bring noises from you that I’m assuming, with your lack of socializing on Jakku, no one has ever done to you before.” Rey suddenly realized that while all of his words about her had been compliments, he’d been signifying that he was eager to act on his confessed ‘love’ for her. “Of course, you, a virgin, wouldn’t understand what I’ve been suggesting. I shouldn’t have been so heedless.”

She turned around to face him, touching his chin with her right hand. She obviously knew of the differences between a man and a woman, but she felt as if she was seeing them for the first time. The skin on his face wasn’t smooth like hers, but rough, and not because of his scar. And his shoulders were broader, his arms were… perfect. “What are you doing?” he asked, amused at her exploration. She hadn’t even realized that she was gently squeezing his biceps.  
  
“You act as if we’re so similar, but I think we’re also very different.” He chuckled, staring at her delicate lips. Rey stared back, almost envious at the shape of his own mouth.

“I’m glad we are.” He ran a hand through her hair, admiring the texture of it. “I need to see you.”  
  
“You are seeing me,” Rey supplied, “but I know what you mean.” He clutched her to him, inhaling the scent of her hair, delighted as her arms went around his back.  
  
Suddenly, he was awake, looking at the durasteel ceiling, and he groaned in frustration. Tomorrow he would show her what else the bond was capable of when they were apart, and then maybe she’d understand. He was glad she hadn’t asked him what ‘balancing the Force’ meant, because at this point, he wasn’t sure, either. He envisioned her on a balcony, looking down at him, a true princess, but one that didn’t need saving.  
  
This time, it was a prince that needed to be freed.


	3. Viral

“Have you been able to find any clues as to the whereabouts of Skywalker and the Kenobi girl, Kylo Ren?” Supreme Leader Snoke asked. “She is a vital key to our success or our downfall.” Kylo shook his head. Sitting next to the Supreme Leader was something, that when he was first brought into the Knights, was an honor, but now, he felt as if it was really a ball and chain.   
  
“I have feelings, but I cannot pinpoint her location.” And that was true – he couldn’t tell exactly where she was on Ahch-To. Snoke twisted his neck in disappointment. He went on to describe how Skywalker must be killed, that his mother would come after that, and if the Resistance would not surrender to the First Order, a mass extinction must commence. “We won’t kill those with the Force, though. We’ll use them for other purposes.”   
  
“Such as?” Kylo asked, curious. Snoke snickered, placing his hand over Ren’s.   
  
“We’ll need more of them.” Suddenly, Kylo understood what he meant and felt outraged – his Rey, being used… or anyone with such a gift was to be used like that? People in general were going to be used in that way?  
  
“Can’t we just clone-“  
  
“Nonsense, boy. Clones don’t live as long, you know this.”

* * *

Rey stood with her eyes closed; a different way to meditate than what Master Luke had first showed her. The wind on her face and the sun's warmth on her hair were enough to soothe her nerves. Luke had noticed she was on edge, assuming that the realization of what had just come to the surface of her life was a lot to handle, and it was. She now knew who her family was, why she was oddly attracted to Kylo, and why he was even more oddly attracted to her. He'd had a longer time to prepare for her, obviously, than she had for him. 

 _"I'm beginning to think that the dresses from our nights are just as much your dream as they are mine. Skywalker has you dressed like a man. Still, you look perfect, though."_ Rey's eyes shot open, looking around for Kylo. "I'm in your head, but you aren't imagining me. You could do the same with me, you know."

Rey groaned. "You can do _this_ , too?" She instantly became frightened that he would know her location, but he told her that he knew, so there were no fears there. "I'm trying to meditate, by the way."

He knew that was a suggestion that he leave. _"Which is precisely why I am in your mind. I know you hate having to meditate so often, and you can't clear your mind if I'm in it."_ She smirked at his words.   
  
“Correct.”

* * *

 

 

Kylo was suddenly pulled out of his conversation with Rey by General Hux, going on about something…

“Any luck finding the scavenger, yet, Ren?” Kylo did not reply. “If you had just ignored her, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place, now would we?” Hux felt his ability to breathe become more difficult. “Supreme Leader is gravely concerned.”  
  
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, General.” He let his Force-hold on Hux release, reveling in the look on the redhead’s face. “There aren’t many so strong with the Force left. Rey is-“  
  
“The scavenger has a name, does she? _Rey._ Odd for a girl.” Hux, still trying to catch his breath, snickered as he stood up more straight. “What brought you to start calling her by name?” Kylo shot him a look through the mask that he was almost sure the General could see. “She’s more than some desert rat from Jakku, isn't she?” Kylo walked away in silence as Hux continued to bring himself back from Ren’s choke. 

* * *

Rey combed out her hair before bed, thankful for the fireplace to help keep her warm despite her wet head. She wondered if she would see Kylo again tonight. Something that had been once every ten days or so had become a nightly occurrence, and as much as she enjoyed his visits, she was starting to wonder what it meant. Obviously, something more, but… well, she’d rather not think about that right now.

She imagined what it would be like to go to sleep next to him, and then – _No, Rey! Don’t think about things like that!_

She placed a towel down on her pillow and pulled the covers back, ready for sleep. Her blankets were so soft, or at least they were to her, who had had nothing before. Staring at the ceiling, imagined a life outside of here: a life with him. They’d live in a nice house in a forest. Maybe they would farm, or do something normal, and have a few children. She could already see them, with their father’s dark wavy hair and her eyes, and – _Seriously,_ she told herself, _stop it!_ Who said that they would even end up that way? One of them was likely to die before this war was over. That’s how war worked, according to Rey.

Tossing and turning, she was beginning to think that sleep would never come.

* * *

“Where have you been?” he asked, standing in the middle of their dark, shared dream space. “Are you okay?” His voiced was concerned, and it struck something in her mind.   
  
“I couldn’t fall asleep,” she confessed to him as she walked his way. Looking down at her dress, she smirked at herself. “I guess I went with white again. Typical.” Kylo took her hand, leading her away.   
  
“But I like you in white.” And the more he thought about it, he began to understand why, and the familiarity of the color made him sick. “It’s soothing to me.” Rey smiled gently as she reached him, kissing his cheek. “Any reason for the affection?”   
  
She blushed as she leaned back on her heels. “Am I not allowed to kiss you?” Kylo raised an eyebrow, smirking, as well.   
  
“If that is your impression of a kiss, you’re even more naïve than I initially considered.” But then he realized she had never seen the proper interactions between two people in love, not like he had with his mother and fath- “I would be willing to show you, to teach you, though.” Rey was the next to raise an eyebrow, an amused look on her face. “It could be entertaining.” She began to back away from him, slowly, a playful glint in her eyes, which only made him chase her with the same speed. “Downright _pleasurable_ , even.”  
  
Rey smiled. “What if I don’t want you to kiss me?” Kylo scoffed in jest, knowing damn good and well that she wanted the contact as much as he did. They were able to sense the other’s feelings, after all, especially him: more trained in the Force, he was able to use the bond quite well.   
  
“Liar,” he replied as their steps slowed, but still going. “You’re wondering what it would feel like. You’re wondering if it would change things. You’re wondering if it would be wrong. You can’t hide your feelings from me. Eventually, you’ll be able to, but right now, you’re an open book, and you’re absolutely breathtaking.” Rey stopped her backward steps, and he stilled when he reached her. “Still hesitant?”  
  
Her lips were on his in an instant, pulling her toward him, and she quickly let him take the lead. And her lips were so soft, so, so soft against his. Were they this soft in real life? They must be.

Kylo pulled away, desperate to see her face. “What?” Rey asked.   
  
He cupped her cheek, his thumb on the seam of her lips, raking his thumb down and pulling her bottom lip along with it, gently. “I need you.” Rey smiled, a blush appearing on her face, and turned around, no longer in his arms. “Do you not believe me, or do you just take that as a simple compliment? I’m tired of waiting on you. This has been months.” His tone was stern, and Rey felt it.  
  
She turned back around, confused, a stare on her face that he’d never seen. “Excuse me?”   
  
“I need you,” he repeated, his posture now slack. “I can’t handle only seeing you in dreams any longer. It’s not fair to you or me, and-“  
  
“Not fair?!” Rey asked, interrupting him, angrily. “ _Not fair_?! You’ve had _everything_ in your life handed to you, and you want this handed to you, too, because it’s ‘not fair’? What about me? Am I not allowed an opinion to the outcome of _my own life_?” She was fuming, and he was concerned.   
  
“Everything hasn’t been handed to me!” he stammered as he tried to reach her, but she kept backing away; not playfully like before, either. “My need for you is beyond physical, even beyond emotional. It’s so powerful that I can’t describe it.”   
  
Rey crossed her arms, tears appearing on her face. “I don’t feel the same way. What if I never do?”   
  
“You will! You just need more training; I can train you…” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “Why did you kiss me?”  
  
Rey wiped her eyes, sniffling. “Because I wanted to.” He looked her over, desperately needing to touch her. “I think we should wait a while before we see each other again.”  
  
“What? No! You can’t do that!” he begged, knowing how desperate he sounded. “I’m getting closer every day to killing Snoke. I’ll rule the First Order, the entire galaxy, then we can be together and I’ll-” Kylo Ren stopped himself once more, knowing that would not be appealing to her. She’d rebuke being an authority, for sure. “Rey, please!”   
  
Rey began to fade away, as if she was pulling herself from the dream, not waking up. “Goodbye, Kylo.”  
  
Kylo reached for her as she faded, but couldn’t feel her. He stumbled to the invisible ground, still in their empty, shared dream space. Screaming, he woke himself up, and grabbed his saber from his bedside table, ignited it, and began to beat at the wall, destroying the durasteel wall. He turned the blade off and threw the hilt across the room, screaming again. The troopers knew better than to come knocking on his door to check on him. He’d choked one too many of them for them to try it again.   
  
Panting, he sat back down on his bed, sick to his stomach with grief – as if his sorrow was a virus that his body wanted to expel.

Maybe that was it: his grief was an illness. Silently, Kylo Ren devised a plan.

He knew what needed to be done.   
  


  



End file.
